uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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