and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize