i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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