She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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