New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
