its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
