You can't special order awesome
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
