soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
