the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
