I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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