he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
