I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
