bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
These tits shall not be calmed
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
