peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
