i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
