why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
