They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
