Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
