i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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