weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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