I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
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She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
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But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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