i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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