Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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