he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
