so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
