....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
