Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
