and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just blew my weed a kiss
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize