I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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