i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
