you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
