So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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