I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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