i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
