hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
