is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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