The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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