A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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