Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
