I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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