She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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