What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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