Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
