I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains