I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee