Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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