We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
