I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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