it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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