i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
