Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
