Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
