Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
