Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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