is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
