i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
