there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
