Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
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I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
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Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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