I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
