That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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